Aprils' Arse Nugget

So its April...Month of Fools and showers...or in my case showered with Fools.

My first gripe of this month comes from the fucker that nearly took my eye out with a metro Newspaper this morning, it kind of reminds me of that 90's Favorite Gladiators in the morning as i walk up Market st..(for those non Manc residents that's a busy pedestrianised street in the centre of our wondrous city)

Yeah you know the one, The gauntlet.. where the not so sexily dressed moron has to run with a giant sized, what looks like inflatable cock against a a couple of hotties named after a ferocious animal or natural disaster.

Well anyway, if its not someone thrusting a newspaper in your face or asking you to save the world for 2 quid its some one dressed as a statue or better still the dude that looks like Louis Armstrong getting blown away by the wind.




My personal favorite has got to be the chap who each time i attempt to get into urban outfitters for my overpriced replica Nirvana T-Shirt, tells me, 'Jesus died for our sins.' Of course he did mate and am sure he wouldn't have bothered if he knew you were on a pilgrimage to set your shit little step ladder up on Market St, have a pop at the man selling overpriced hot-dogs and generally piss the general public off  with your home made sign that looks like it should be at a at an Ant & Dec concert in 1996.

I remember a simpler time when there was no such avenues to express an opinion, no way of telling the world that your child had just done a poo, or you could waste your whole evening sending someone shit pictures that looks like a 2 year old on acids' handy work (thanks 'draw something')

I remember those hazy days down the school disco, knocking out a few shapes to star-trekkin or 'ding-a-ling-a-ding-dongin to superman... Filling your 10p mix up with 50p's worth of fizzy fish and fruit salads

or if you were really living life large and in charge you'd go for the 2p bad boys..yeah I'm talking 'beer bottle'/Anglo bubbly shizzle. Finish it off with a Highland Toffee bar and a can of panda shandy or a Calypso cup (upside down with the corner bit off of course) And you were pretty much sorted. Joining in with the a bit of jive bunny or the grease mega mix, whirling around in a chemical smoke haze from mobile disco Mike's septic smoke machine, the nodding of the dancing flowers as your LA gear flashed in the night...its like the night would never end.  That's until your mam picked you up in the Fiat Panda at 8 o clock.

Mega!

Well i'll leave you with a thought that came to me whilst watching Spring watch... 

Is it still wrong to Fancy Chris Packham?

For all the 'Really Wild show' fans it was all about Michaela for the boys and Old blond curtain, bird of prey loving,  Packham for us Girls...or if you were really weird Tezza (fingers bit off by a seal) Nutkins

you can't stop the plop....

smell you later poo fans x