March's meadow muffin

Fred the weather man...he really gets on my tits.

'Wet and Windy...but just look at those temperatures! 17 degrees! Those poor Hedgehogs and Bluebells just don't know what to do'

Oh yeah Fred, its a near enough heat wave out there. One sunny day that happens to have notched up temperatures  just above freezing point and Fred's wetting his Y fronts.

If i wanted further confirmation that i was indeed surrounded by absolute disillusioned donkeys, I got it in Tesco. Some student harping on to his 'trendy wendy' Alexa Chung wannabe girlfriend, that it would be 'amazeballs' (i have no idea either) to have  a BBQ and where could he find the BBQ packs? The spotty little tesconian checkout boy looked more gormless than usual at this request!? A BBQ! Well....I blame everybodys 'festive favourite'  the German Markets for such behaviour. The stupid amongst us eat one bratwurst that they have taken out a convinient 'pay day loan' to pay for, have a glass of warm tesco value Merlot and all of a sudden its a great idea to freeze your mammarys off with a bunch of muppets listening to German Techno.

Carrying on this weather themed post, I think it appropriate to bring the plight of umbrella's at this time of year to your attention. Poor little fooker's are your best buddy's when you caught in an unexpected down-poor, but the the first sign of wind and they are tossed aside, left in a bus shelter or just strewn across the pavement metal arms broken, there shower proof bodies ripped and torn. Together we can stamp out umbrella abuse. Lenny Fucking Henry doesn't give a shit about them though does he?!

Which brings me nicely to my final point to note for this month. Your walking to work through town in the morning or maybe having a leisurely browse round you high st favourites on a well earned day off from the poo factory. Now, if its not some fucking moron shoving a metro newspaper in your face or some prick dressed as a statue drinking a can of coke begging for money no doub it's a 'Chugger'.



Yeah those failed drama student, tree huggers,  that pounce two feet in front of you arms waving like an epileptic having an electric shock and say 'Hey' or 'Yo' or in my case this week, 'Hey Curly Girly' *shudders*.. potentially the most annoying group of peolple in the universe mugging you for your last tuppence for charideee...now my mum brought me up with manners but I really had hold back from laying the smack down on this douche. Who went on to make me feel guilty for buying my boots meal deal and generally living.... these doughnuts get paid to basically abuse, annoy and rape you of your freedom on the street whilst going about your day to day ploptastic lives.

Well in the words of Whitney 'I'm off to see Jesus, He's cool'...who said crack was Whack ay?!



keep shining that special Sheisse :)